Momsen and her Mane

photo credit: InStyle

Taylor Momsen was invited to fashion week. Aww how cute. She's so young, and so oblivious. Honey, what kind of gum did they put in your hair? I recommend not using Bubblelicious next time and maybe getting some extensions. I was so bothered by your weave that I didn't even notice you had PANTS ON UNDER A DRESS. I'll pray that they're just heavy leggings. Not to mention your dress looks like something my great Aunt LouAnn bought at Cato thinking it was "hip" and a "dazzlin color." Tay Tay, better luck next year. 

Ready when you are!

photo credit: People

"Oh my gawd y'all! They didn't tell me it was time for my sidewalk dental exam! Okay okay, I'll just like, open up wide right here, is that okay? I think I have a cavity over to the left, yeah, over there, do you see it? I am just in love with my tongue scraper, can't y'all tell? It's like, part of my everyday routine now! This light in my mouth sure has gotten brighter since last time!"

So everyone dresses well on holidays?

Ella has been searching for something shiteous to blog about for a few days now. What gives? Do you people wear your best outfits when celebrating American pride? I was expecting someone to slip up and at least wear something with some stars and stripes, but not even Speidi Montatt pranced around in red, white or blue. 

Hang in there with me, readers. I'll soon find suitable material. 

Paris Men's Fashion Week made me drool

I want you all to meet my new boyfriend. Ella loves the dapper, sleek

tailoring and perfectly coiffed hair. Thank you Moschino for

introducing me to this cutie.

Also: This look is big in '08.

Kelly Kapowski, young high school hottie, workin' the suspenders and bikini like it's her job.

Kiki,

photo credi: People

Two words: Soap. Water. 

photo credit: People

This picture made me howl with laughter when I came across it. Taylor Hicks loves the Jonas brothers? Okay whoa, I thought I was being a bit molesty with my love for underage boys, but at least I only have an internet crush on them. Taylor, you're scaring me. Next time I see a photo of you I bet you'll be shopping for sparkly flare jeans at Limited Too, won't you? Oh and P.S., Shutter shades in the back? Aren't the shutters supposed to go all the way down the frame? Just wondering.

Pheast on this Phallic photo

photo credit: People

Cute bottoms, Kim. Not bottom, but bottoms. For once someone isn't going to talk about your huge butt on a blog. Thanks for keeping your bondage bracelet on after a quickie with Reggie White. It really matches your outfit, so why not flaunt a little kinky jewelry, hoochie mamma? What's lil sis wearing though? An animal print jumper? No, sorry Khloe I'm not in to gymboree garments just yet, please try again.